


haddest thou been not so proud

by greensleeved



Series: my lute be still for i have done [3]
Category: Six - Marlow/Moss
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Nightmares, in which jane parker acts as the mom friend
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-08
Updated: 2019-12-08
Packaged: 2021-03-07 08:35:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21715702
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/greensleeved/pseuds/greensleeved
Summary: Katherine Howard awakes from a nightmare, and finds herself reaching out to her former lady-in-waiting, Jane Parker-Boleyn.
Relationships: katherine howard/jane parker boleyn
Series: my lute be still for i have done [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1565164
Comments: 2
Kudos: 51





	haddest thou been not so proud

She awoke with a start, sweat causing the sheets to stick to her skin. It wasn’t the first time it happened, and Katherine knew it wouldn’t be the last. She was alone in the dark room, that much she knew for certain. Her breath was coming quick, and the shadows were menacing. 

They are gone, she reminded herself. But she still couldn’t shake them; not the men, not her nightmares. Not her adolescence. 

It was too much. As she sat there alone, pulling her blanket over herself in an attempt to hide from her past, it all felt too much. Foggy memories had reemerged in sleep, and it was overwhelming. 

Breath, Katherine reminded herself. In one two three…

She practiced the breathing exercises her therapist had given her, attempting to slow down her rapid breathing, racking her mind for other coping mechanisms. She should have written them down, as her mind was racing and it was too hard to concentrate on any one thing. 

Find someone safe, she thought. Someone who made her feel safe. Katherine lurched out of bed, legs trembling and shaking as she wrapped herself in a robe, each step feeling like her legs her jello. 

Jane, Jane would help her.

She could have gone to Anne or Anna, but she didn’t want to wake them. And Jane had been by her side, had died along with her. Jane would help.

She made her way down the hall and up the stairs to where the ladies slept on shaky legs, a hand on the wall for balance. 

Katherine knocked on the door, before pushing it open before hearing a response. “Jane?” she whispered into the darkness.

There was a groan from the bed, and the sound of someone turning over. “Huh?” came the sleep muffled voice of Jane Parker. 

Katherine stood in the doorway, unable to move.

“Katherine?” In the dim light, she could make out the movement of Jane, sitting up in bed. “What’s going on?”

“I had a nightmare,” the young queen whispered. “Can I-” her voice cut off.

She could see the outline of the lady-in-waiting nodding her head. “Come here.”

With Jane’s permission, Katherine launched herself at the bed, curling up next to the other woman. “I just-”

Jane’s hand found it’s way to the top of Katherine’s head, soothing at her hair. “I know, Katherine. It’s alright.” She leaned back against the pillows, shutting her eyes. “Do you need to talk about it?”

The pink haired woman quickly shook her head. Talking about it would bring it all back. “I can’t be alone.”

“I know, Kat.” 

The other woman, even though half asleep, had a soothing presence, and Katherine quickly found her breathing returning to normal, and feeling returning to her fingers and toes. 

Jane had come back for Katherine. Just as Maria had for Catherine, Maggie for Anne, Joan for Jane, Bessie for Anna, and Maud for Catherine. Even though Jane had served all four queens before Katherine, she had come back for her. She had died for her, on the scaffold the same day. And now, she was here, softly humming a song that Katherine couldn’t place, as her fingers soothed her scalp. 

It was Jane Parker whom Katherine went to when overwhelmed and alone. Jane was there, always willing to soothe and comfort.

It was Jane who had suggested therapy, and Jane who found her a therapist and drove her to appointments.

Katherine wondered if it was out of servitude or friendship that caused Jane to do all of that for her. She wondered if Jane resented her for it. 

She tilted her head up, to look at the outline of the other woman’s face in the dark. She wondered what expression the woman held, if she was looking at her with worry or disdained. 

“Jane?” she whispered into the dark.

“Hmm?” the stage manager murmured.

“Do you hate me, for everything?” It was bare above a breath, let out in fear of the answer.

She felt the other woman move, Jane sitting up fully instead of resting on the pillows. “Kat- no, never.”

“I- I made you die!”

Jane shook her head so quickly it might have given her whiplash. “No, honey. No, you didn’t.”

Katherine blamed herself, for Jane’s death, for Thomas’, for Francis’ horrible death, everyones. It was all her. But Jane- if Katherine hadn’t named her, Jane might have survived.

“I-”

“Sh.. honey.” Jane stroked Katherine’s hair softly, letting out a hum. “It wasn’t your fault darling.” Her hand was soothing, keeping Katherine in her place, curled at Jane’s side, with her head half on her lap. “He was a tyrant, and none of us are to blame for anything.”

“But-”

Jane cut her off, not allowing Katherine to speak, not allowing her to blame herself. “Katherine, it wasn’t you.”

“What about now, though?” she whispered.

“What do you mean, now?”

“You do so much for me- you make appointments, and find doctors, and you’re always there-”

“Of course I’m always here, love. I’d do anything for you.”

“Is it- is it because you’re my lady or-”

“Katherine, I do it because I want to. I want what’s best for you. I love you, okay? You’re family.”

It was true, in a sense. They were family- by heart, as well, Jane had married Katherine’s cousin.

“I love you too, Jane.” She said it so softly, Katherine wondered if Jane even heard.


End file.
